So you found The One and you’re planning a wedding. If you are like some of my friends you’ve been planning your wedding since you were a very little child. You have had these misty visions in your head of what that day will look like right? Little abstract images. You walking down the aisle. The look on your loves face as they see you for the first time. The first kiss. The first dance.

These are all iconic images in our culture. You only hope that your wedding photographer can capture these once in a lifetime moments right? As a photographer these are a piece of cake. You know they will happen, you know when they will happen and where.

But what about the formals? I’ve never talked with anyone who spends much time day dreaming about the picture of the bride and grooms family together, or that rare photo of uncle Frank from Toledo posing with the bride and groom. Talking with other wedding photographers these are the images they least enjoy shooting.

Why? Why so little love for the formals? Personally I love shooting the formals. I think there are a couple of reasons why shooting the formal portraits at weddings are the least popular aspect of wedding photography.

First, the list of formals is always very long, and inevitably it will grow come wedding day. This is taxing on the resources of the photographer and the wedding party. Another reason might be that is the perception that formals don’t allow room for creativity. I should probably also add that the time allowed to produce really great formals is often neglected.

So here are a few suggestions.

1. Avoid thinking of the formals as a way to get a portrait of every family member, family friend, and long lost uncle. Trust me on this one. For one thing, if your photographer is any good he or she will likely get a great candid image of uncle Frank from Toledo that actually captures who uncle Frank is. Do you really need him posed with you and your soon to be? Maybe if he was instrumental in your life or introduced the two of you sure. But more on that in a bit.

2. How much time have you allotted for the formals? The last wedding I photographed was for a couple who are in to photography and they allotted 5 hours! That may sound like a long time – because it is! But if you have a party of 12, plus both families and you want traditional formals and some non-traditional shots, plus bride with groomsmen, bride with brides maids, bride with each bridesmaid, groom with groomsmen, etc, etc that can take a lot of time. Work with your photographer early in the planning stage on this one.

3. Have a wedding coordinator. This doesn’t have to be an official coordinator. This can be a friend or a relative who has that special gift of dictatorship. Ha ha. Ok, well you get my drift. The last thing you want is for your photographer to be the person barking at people. That makes for bad images. You know that aunt that at thanksgiving who kept an eye on the kids table? The one who is always fixing collars or insisting you wash your hands before you eat? Yep, she was born for this.

4. Be willing to think outside the box. If you allow enough time you can have a lot of fun and turn the formals into a creative portrait session. Are their locations near your wedding venue that are meaningful? What about a place that would be great for some INformals of the wedding party? I’m blessed to live in Santa Cruz and this is the best part of beach weddings. Great romantic back drop? Check. Lots of space to play? Check. Just watch out for the guys in Speedos!

5. Everyone is a photographer. No, everyone has a digital camera. Among wedding photographers they are known as uncle Bob. uncle Bob will have better gear than your hired photographer most of the time! Ask uncle Bob to leave his gear at home. My contract has an exclusivity clause stating that I am to be the only photographer. Why? It has nothing to do with ego. Nothing is more frustrating than having your shot ruined because everyone is confused as to what camera they should be looking at. Or having your lighting thrown off because uncle Bob’s flash is going off while you are opening the shutter. Or worse, having to fight with uncle Bob for a good vantage point. I shot a wedding this summer and about a dozen frames were ruined because an uncle Bob (that was actually his name!) kept jumping in front of my lens. I kid you not. I have a frame somewhere of the bride and groom kissing and uncle Bob has his hand and camera in front of the lens!